I seem to be caught in a cycle of dreaming up healthier ways of living my life, purchasing the things I need to implement these new habits, and then falling off the wagon. I own a juicer, exercise equipment, and plenty of self-help courses all of which I never begin for more than a few days. The guilt is all consuming, especially when I look around my home and see the building blocks for a new me still in the packaging! What am I doing and how do I stop?
I think you are taking on too much. Also, you are thinking these things will be the short-cut to a new way of living. Your subconscious is sabotaging you. Instead of starting with a course or “things” begin by writing down the goals you want to accomplish.
Write down anything that stands in the way and find a way around those. Then for each goal list the specific steps you will take. And finally, this is critically important, schedule specific times for each activity. Print off your schedule and check off when each has been done.
You may see that there is simply not enough time for all you have taken on. Simplify, perhaps choosing only one or two things to focus on. Stop giving yourself permission to skip commitments you have made to yourself.