Ask Gwen: Drama-free living


There always seems to be unnecessary drama in my life, taking up my precious time and energy. As a introspective person I realize that I must play a part in this. Do you have any advice on how I can simplify my life and live drama free?

Gwen’s Answer:

Ultimately we create our own drama. This happens when our emotions are engaged and we take a polarized position. We only see our own point of view and see the other as wrong.

We fail to see we are in a negative dance where two egos are fighting to prove the other wrong. We take things personally, become offended and defiant.

Things escalate and become increasingly negative because both sides are doing little more than increasing the volume.

A more evolved approach is to consider the situation objectively and set the emotions aside. Define the problem.  An example could be a disagreement about wages. The employee thinks she deserves more and the employer does not see it the same way.

Once the problem is defined, stay neutral and ask if there is any possibility of a solution being reached. Perhaps it is a small increase in wages, or the occasional extra day off.

If you are the employee and the employer says there is not solution and things stay as they are, then the employee must make a rational decision about whether to stay or go. Each has a right to their opinion, even if we think it is wrong.

Forget all the drama about whether it is fair on not, or that you feel devalued and unappreciated. If you feel you are worth more, then quietly get out and go somewhere where you feel you are being paid what you are worth.

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