When teenaged girls are dating, they often have not had enough life experience to know if a relationship is healthy or not. There are some definite indicators that are trouble signs, and they include the following:
1) he is physically or verbally abusive,
2) he calls you names or puts you down,
3) he lies or cheats—in any situations, not just with you,
4) his values or morals are of a lower standard than yours,
5) he encourages you to be rude to your parents, or ignore their rules.
6) he criticizes your friends, and discourages you from spending time with them,
7) he is argumentative, and you find yourself repeatedly engaged in conflict.
Unless she has a high level of self-esteem, a young woman may tend to blame herself for the problems. Alternately, she may fall into the trap of thinking that she can change him.
If any of the above indicators are present, it is not a healthy relationship , and, frankly, she should move on. Even a healthy relationship can have its challenges, so why remain in a situation that already has serious strikes against it?
The teenage years are years when those around us should be supportive and encouraging. Dysfunctional relationships at this time can have long term emotional consequences as this is a critical time for the developing sense of self.
If a woman is having a hard time distancing from this type of relationship, despite urging from friends and family members, professional help is in order.
Copyright © Gwen Randall-Young, All Rights Reserved. Contact us if you would like permission to reprint.
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