Criticism seems to be an integral part of thinking in the Western world. It is an extension of the polarity that underlies the way so many look at life. People, and their actions, are judged as being good/bad, right/wrong, acceptable/ unacceptable, stupid/smart, and the list goes on.
The problem here is that the one doing the judging assumes his or her perspective is the correct one. Others are judged relative to the one doing the judging. Clearly, no one is right about everything. The real question must be’ “What gives a person the right to judge or criticize another?”
Interestingly, I do not think we have that right at all. Because criticism is so prevalent in our society, it often is not questioned. This does not mean that we have to put up with behaviors that we find unacceptable. It is just that there are other ways to ask for change.
We can tell others what we need, let them know what we require of them, or inform them as to how their behaviors have affected us. We can do all of these things without ever criticizing the other person.
If we avoid criticism, there is a better chance we will be heard. Our relationships will also be healthier and we will not be damaging the self esteem of another.
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