Are you harboring resentment towards a person or situation right now? If you are, it means you are either hurt, angry, feel misunderstood, or that someone is taking advantage of you. Resentment is a bitter feeling that arises when we are not getting something we need.
Unfortunately, it does not do any good. It is like an acid that eats away at its container. When we feel resentful, we tend to replay the events, words or actions that caused upset in the first place. With each replaying, the resentment builds. Other feelings like anger, disappointment, sadness or even hatred may grow stronger.
One who is resentful may share those feelings with others. This adds more energy to the negative situation, and spreads it further. If this happens in a family, community or workplace, it soon pollutes the emotional environment for all.
How then, can one deal with feelings of resentment? First of all, it is important to realize that one has chosen to feel resentful. Yes, it is a choice. Behind resentment there is some blame based on a judgment. Someone is being blamed for not acting according to our best good. Often assumptions are made, implying we are not important or valued.
The best antidote for resentment is to put all judgment aside, and see if there is a better way to do things that will feel good for all. Problem solving may get you somewhere: resentment will not. Without attacking, tell the other party how you are feeling, and ask if things could be done differently. This will work if you genuinely want resolution. If you are pounding someone on the head with your feelings, and blaming them for whatever happened, you will likely get a negative response which will only fuel your resentment.
If, for some reason, there is nothing you can do to change the situation, it is best for you not to harbor resentment. Just let it go. Harboring resentment, especially over time, will compromise your health, creating stress , anxiety and a compromised immune system . Focus instead on all that is positive in your life, and how you can bring good energy into your relationships with others. You will feel better, and so will those around you.
Copyright © Gwen Randall-Young, All Rights Reserved. Contact us if you would like permission to reprint.
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