My husband cheated on me

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Question:broken heart

I am about to separate and at the age of 57 I feel hurt and alone. My husband has been cheating on me after 3 years of marriage. How do I find that trust in a man again and how will I know when I find that person?

Answer:

This is such a painful experience and my heart goes out to you. When one has been let down in this way, it can be hard to trust again. Here are some clues to watch for.

If a man is cheating on someone else when he starts his relationship with you, it’s a good bet he will cheat on you someday. The same is true if he has cheated on a previous partner. Watch out if a man sees women primarily as sex objects and is less interested in other important aspects of relationship, such as good communication.

If he shows a lack of integrity in other areas of his life, he may not have the strength of character you desire in a mate. If he lies to you, red flags should go up.

If you meet someone who could be a potential partner, ask if he is monogamous in relationships. Tell him that is a non-negotiable requirement for you. If his past relationships have been monogamous, and he is of good moral character, that’s about as good as you can get in a world where there are no guarantees.