Trusting again, moving on after cheating

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sad coupleQuestion:

I am currently in a new relationship and I am having trust issues. I don’t know if my perception is off base because of my past experience (lived with my child’s father who had three other children outside of our relationship, I found out after the third child was conceived) or am I being insecure. I want to be able to live the life I dream and be secure with myself even if someone else is unfaithful.

Answer:

Great question! I really like that you want to live the life you dream and be secure with yourself even if someone else is unfaithful. In order to do that we must take back our power and the responsibility for how we feel about ourselves. So you become strong and believe, really believe, that even though everything might not turn out okay, YOU will be okay.

Sometimes we repeat patterns in relationships and say oh, now yet again someone is betraying me. We must really look at ways we might be betraying ourselves. We may not be speaking or living our truth. We may be a pleaser. We may feel things are not right, but our fear of being alone prevents us from moving on and giving ourselves what we deserve.

Ask yourself if your new partner as given any evidence of being untrustworthy. Trust your inner radar.  However if there is nothing he has done to make you question him, then give him your trust. Do not contaminate the present with fears from the past.

If it turns out he has not been honest, then move on. You do not have to keep reliving an old scenario.

Love and blessings,

Gwen