Transforming Power Struggles

566

ignoring wife 2Power struggles can be common in relationships. This can happen with a spouse, a child/parent, or with a boss/coworker. This occurs when two people disagree and try to convince the other of the correctness of their position.

Generally, this boils down to an argument, or perhaps a more subtle struggle, over who is right. The focus remains on an attempt to prove one’s point. Comments are made in support off one’s own position, and against that of the other.

Unfortunately, this rarely resolves things in a positive manner. Oh, you might well win the argument, or have the decision go your way, but likely there has been some damage to the relationship.

Does this mean we can never disagree? Of course not. However, there is a way to preserve and even strengthen the relationship, in spite of disagreement. The secret is to put your focus on truly listening and understanding the other’s position. Generally, people are more upset at not feeling heard and understood than about things not going their way.

Rather than creating polarity, this approach brings the parties closer together. There is no better way to show another person that they matter, than to really listen and understand. Chances are, once you have both done this, agreement, or at least compromise, will come more quickly.

If we make the person more important than the issues, somehow there are fewer issues, and they tend to become smaller.

Copyright © Gwen Randall-Young, All Rights Reserved. Contact us if you would like permission to reprint.
CDs You May be Interested In:
Conflict Resolution in Relationships
Communication in Relationships
Relationship Landmines
When Relationships Break Down
Relationship Healing