Keys to Effective Communicating

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loving gaze“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” ~Sue Patton

Talking is easy but true communication can be difficult. One of the reasons for this is that people are often more interested in expressing their opinion or point of view than in really listening to what the other has to say.

Communication would be tremendously improved if there were more emphasis on truly listening and hearing what the other person is wanting us to understand. We may not always agree, but a good starting point for stating our case is first communicating to the other that we really understand his/her position.

Sometimes we think our argument is more important because we are “right.” However, a good discussion must be based on the premise that what each has to say is equally important.

It may be helpful to remember that disagreements affect relationships, and that the relationship is more important than any single discussion or argument. How we conduct ourselves when there are differences will determine whether the relationship is improved or damaged.

In addition to giving the other person a chance to fully explain his or her view, the following principles will help to prevent deterioration in the communication: stick to the topic at hand, rather than bringing up things from the past, focus on the issue, not the person, avoid criticism or derogatory comments, and look for solutions.

It is also helpful to state at the outset that even though the two parties may be coming from different perspectives, the goal is to seek resolution and remain on good terms.

Copyright © Gwen Randall-Young, All Rights Reserved. Contact us if you would like permission to reprint.
CDs You May be Interested In:
Communication in Relationships
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