I have been struggling with the question “who am I?” I have just read and re-read the article “Attachment to outcome causes stress”. All my remembered life I have been the caretaker person, always trying to fix things for others, even though I know I can not do this. I have looked at control issues,but when I read your article again this morning, I have the feeling that my ego has certainly been in the way. Is it possible that I have been so busy for others I have no idea who I am. I am in my early 70’s now and I am finding time heavy on my hands, and curiously I am looking for “something” to do. After watching Wayne Dyer last week he spoke of a novel in which a dying man says “what if my life has been a lie”. This resonates with me. I have been living other peoples lives. I want to find what mine is all about.
Gwen’s Answer:
Congratulations! You have had a flash of insight that is profoundly significant. Sometimes we do spend our lives being so involved in the lives of others that we have little time to reflect on who we are, and, in fact, may not really know ourselves. Sometimes maintaining an external focus like that can be away of avoiding being alone with ourselves.
Thankfully, you have realized, before it is too late, that you have spent a big part of your life on other people’s paths. Now it is time for you to get back on your own. You can do that by taking quiet time to reflect on your inner thoughts and feelings. You might even try writing in a journal. Since you are looking for something to do, this could be a good project. It is a project that will help you to get in touch with yourself, and to simply ‘be’.
You see, you have been ‘do-ing’ all of your life, and now you have to learn how to ‘be’. Starting by writing those things of which you are becoming aware is a good place to start. Let your journal be an ‘awareness journal’. This is a very good way to introduce yourself to you, and to get to know more about this fascinating individual with whom you have spent the last seventy-some years!