“One of the great keys to joy and happiness and results in life is to develop the ability to ask for what you want in such a manner that people are delighted to give it to you.” ~ Stuart Emery
Often, as I do my therapy work, I deal with people who are unhappy with others in their lives because their needs are not being met. There may even be long standing resentments about the behavior of the other.
Upon deeper examination, I often find the individual has not specifically asked for what is needed. The expectation is that the partner/child/parent/friend/colleague/boss should know.
Further, the belief is that if they really cared, then they would know, and one should not even need to ask.
There is a fundamental flaw in this argument. People, even those who love us dearly, are not mind readers. The fact that they cannot read our minds does not mean they do not care about us. At the very least they should have the option of knowing what is important to us so they have the choice to respond to our needs.
Get in touch with what it is you really want, and take responsibility to ask for what you need from people. Ask without demanding or criticizing, and accept that others may have valid reasons for not giving you exactly what you desire.
Put your request out there for others to hear and to see, as keeping it to yourself guarantees it will not happen. You can further strengthen your relationships by asking if there is anything others need from you.
Copyright © Gwen Randall-Young, All Rights Reserved. Contact us if you would like permission to reprint.
Related MP3s Available:
Communication in Relationships
Conflict Resolution in Relationships
Trust and Fidelity