Ask Gwen: Solitude

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Dear Gwen,

When I am at home by myself I keep the radio or television on in every room to keep me company and have for many years. A close friend pointed out that it appears like I will do anything to avoid my own company. At first I was hurt by the comment, but am now reflecting on the potential truth of it. Do you have any suggestions on how I might begin to approach quite solitude? The thought of it makes me anxious, but I feel that this is something I have to face. Thank you in advance.

Gwen’s Answer:

There could be some truth in your friend’s comment. I would want to know more about the rest of your life. If you are involved outside of home with work or socializing and your life is balanced I would give this more thought. If you do yoga or meditation, have hobbies or other interests I would not be as concerned.

If you are alone due to children leaving the nest, death of a partner or separation, then it is normal to want to hear some talking so you do not feel quite so alone.

If you do not take any quiet time for yourself and have all of that “noise” going all the time that may not be so healthy. Everyone is on a different path. Some love solitude and others do not.

There should be no judgment here. If you feel content in the way you live then I would not worry about this.

If you want to change, it would be good to learn about meditation. Just begin with sitting in peaceful quietness for five minutes. You may find that you come to enjoy it. You might also have certain times of the day when you turn everything off for an hour and just recognize and begin to deal with whatever feelings come up when those distractions are gone.

Releasing Anxiety MP3